Things America throws away during spring cleaning

Knotted hemp bracelet around the wrist of the Statue of Liberty.

Grab 'n Go mountain of AR-15s.

Russell Brand's visa.

AI that is rude or a threat to the continuation of the human race.

Any official distinction between North and South Dakota.

Tesla Autopilot's seven-beer setting.

Elon Musk's sink from his 2022 'let' this sink” joke.

Elon Musk's life-size statue of Dilbert mischievously giving the finger to the 'deep state'.

The right to a fair and impartial trial for every ex who slept with his aerial yoga guru.

Consulates represent countries that haven't really surprised us lately.

Half-eaten bowl of pad Thai that has been sitting in the back of the National Fridge for two weeks.

One and a half million tons of sulfur dioxide pollution, sent to Canada by hand.

A plain looking bald eagle putting down the majesty of the others.

The thousands of stockpiled 'Make America Great Again' hospital masks.

That one person without a podcast. Away!

Any novel that requires a detailed map at the beginning.

A very large plastic bucket full of spare cryptocurrency.

A blurry Mike Lindell, a few meters across the Mexican border, with a MyPillow in his arms.

All NFTs feature Trump wearing an American flag cape.

Any NFT, period.

All those old arrowheads and bullet casings from the Civil War.

Some syllables from 'Mississippi' – a few may be lost.

Costumes for Bill Clinton's presidential library mascot, Blowy the Flirtious Saxophone.

The deepfake sex tape of Tucker Carlson making sloppy, messy love to his own ego.

Hooverdam?

Two or three dumpsters worth of fake IDs and “imposter wigs” from Rep. George Santos.

The Franklin Mint's January 6 commemorative Coin-and-Hummel set.

All the stray frisbees in the Grand Canyon.

The rarely visited Smithsonian Museum of Vintage Absolut Vodka Ads.

Old train set (the transcontinental railroad).

The one who designs shoes for Ron DeSantis.

The architect who came up with the open office plan.

Jimmy Buffett's entire music catalog (blame it on a “terrible mix-up”).

Every golden cup from the show universe of 'Love Is Blind'.

Society's collective memory of 'balloon boy'.

Mustachioed high-end mocktail mixologists.

People who graffiti trees.

Assholes who say “cool beans.”

Countless unused checks and balances.

Limp Bizkit's giant prop toilet from Ozzfest '99, which racked up a fortune in storage fees.

The professional title 'Internet detective'.

Waves of grain starting to look more beige than amber.

Huge granite Oakley sunglasses that Biden ordered to “brighten” the Lincoln Memorial.

The Chevy at the dike because the dike is still dry.

Any rendition of the national anthem longer than forty-five seconds.

SCOTUS has nine judges, but “The Masked Singer” seems to be doing just fine with four.

Do we really need that? two shining seas?

That oddly shaped rubber gasket we found under the carpet and couldn't part with because yeah, it's probably junk, but it also might be the only thing holding this big, stupid country together. ♦

Related Posts

With Not My Job guest J. Kenji López-Alt: NPR

J. Kenji Lopez-Alt attends the 2023 James Beard Media Awards at Columbia College Chicago in Chicago. Jeff Schear/Getty Images for The James Beard/Getty Images North America hide caption change caption…

Donald Trump is targeting Senator Tom Cotton as his 2024 running mate

As RadarOnline.com previously reported, Trump flew North Dakota Governor and Vice Presidential hopeful Burgum out on Saturday to speak to nearly 100,000 supporters at a massive MAGA rally in Wildwood,…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You Missed

Ohio's Republican governor is helping Biden gain access to ballots

  • May 25, 2024
Ohio's Republican governor is helping Biden gain access to ballots

South Africa's four major political parties are entering the final weekend of their pre-election campaign

  • May 25, 2024
South Africa's four major political parties are entering the final weekend of their pre-election campaign

Michigan travel guide: Discover the state's top tourist stops

  • May 25, 2024
Michigan travel guide: Discover the state's top tourist stops

The “absolute worst” times for car buying are over

  • May 25, 2024
The “absolute worst” times for car buying are over

With Not My Job guest J. Kenji López-Alt: NPR

  • May 25, 2024
With Not My Job guest J. Kenji López-Alt: NPR

Oops!… I Did it Again – Singer Brittney Spears posts nude video on the beach: “Hello to My Ass!!!” | The Gateway expert

  • May 25, 2024
Oops!… I Did it Again – Singer Brittney Spears posts nude video on the beach: “Hello to My Ass!!!”  |  The Gateway expert

Donald Trump is targeting Senator Tom Cotton as his 2024 running mate

  • May 25, 2024
Donald Trump is targeting Senator Tom Cotton as his 2024 running mate

Trump could be hammered for the conviction for violating the secrecy code

  • May 25, 2024
Trump could be hammered for the conviction for violating the secrecy code

Record broken for most passengers screened at US airports, TSA says

  • May 25, 2024
Record broken for most passengers screened at US airports, TSA says

Andy Cohen asks judge to dismiss lawsuit against Leah McSweeney

  • May 25, 2024
Andy Cohen asks judge to dismiss lawsuit against Leah McSweeney

Jack Smith asks judge to limit Trump's statements after 'inflammatory' statements about FBI raid

  • May 25, 2024
Jack Smith asks judge to limit Trump's statements after 'inflammatory' statements about FBI raid