What exactly is spring? | The New Yorker

In the spring we lose an hour of our lives complaining that we have lost an hour of sleep.

Spring is what happens when a new pastel color tries to establish itself.

In the spring, trees begin to greet each other again with “Hello there, how are you?”, instead of their usual cold, dead silence.

Spring is the part in the song that goes, “Doo doo dee dah dah (wind chimes).” It comes after the part similar to “Brahhwwmp brahwmp”, and before the part that is all “Cha cha chachacha tsssss”.

Springtime was created by Big Allergy to sell tissues.

The birds and bees are very busy in the spring. It's tax season and they need to get their receipts in order.

Spring is often shortened to 'spring' or 'spr' and sometimes even to 'ing'. In some parts of the world they just call it 'time', and somehow everyone knows what that means.

In spring, fashion changes. It goes from scratchy and large to softer and more medium. However, it is not yet completely smooth and invisible. That's for the summer.

Spring is the time when you clean out your social media accounts and collect all your old tweets to donate to charity.

Flowers are essential to any successful spring. Be sure to reserve flowers early, otherwise you'll have to make your own from scratch, which is time-consuming and involves negotiating with bees.

A number of fruits and vegetables are in season in the spring. You do nothing with this information and continue to make boxed macaroni and cheese for every meal.

Many holidays take place in the spring, such as Easter; Passover; Earth Day; Rain forever, I think; Surprise! It's snowing again; Wow, a very hot day; Pollen (The Reprise); Oh no, the bugs have returned; and Mother's Day.

Spring is the time when you turn all your tea from hot to iced and when Ice-T continues to star on “Law & Order: SVU,” as he will for the rest of time.

In the spring, scarves are discounted by fifty percent, but now you don't really need scarves anymore. What's even worse is that capri pants, which you could use, cost full price even though they're technically just part of a pair of pants.

The first day of spring changes based on when someone first posts a photo of a marshmallow Peep on Facebook that year.

In theory, spring is when the weather starts to get warmer. However, Earth's climate has been warming for a while now, so if you think about it, maybe it's always spring?

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