City beach
Take the Q train downtown to the last stop, go to the abandoned factory where the triple murder took place and find Ivan, an elderly Belarusian who will take you across in his rowboat for $85.57 (exact change only). brings. Once you arrive, listen to the rolling waves almost drowning out the construction noise from the causeway above. Fun fact: at low tide you will find cigarette butts from the 1970s. There are no public restrooms, but you can walk five miles to use the porta potty on the causeway.
Good for: New Yorkers without cars.
Bear beach
This upstate New York harbor is a popular destination for swimmers, campers, and bears. Oh, so many bears. Brown bears, Kodiak bears, grizzly bears: all bears are drawn to this beach for one reason or another. Luckily, bears are more afraid of you than you are of them, and that's what that ill-fated group of campers told themselves before they were mauled to death by a bear. But don't worry, not every bear wants to trap you with its claws. Some will be too busy to snuggle up to you while you swim.
Good for: families, adventurers, bears.
Actual fire island
Like nearby Fire Island, only this beach is always empty because it is always on fire. Sunscreen is a must.
Good for: Beachgoers who want some room to move.
Demon Bay
Although you may encounter ghost-sucking ghosts on this remote beach, you don't have to pay for parking. Kids will love collecting sea glass and human teeth, while adults sip cans of rosé cider in the tranquil surroundings; any sound can awaken Tola, the capricious demigoddess of chaos and despair. Visitors are encouraged to leave offerings at Tola's altar or risk her reaching down their throats with her delicate spindly fingers and ripping out the living essence.
Good for: people who have been baptized.
Sandy beach
We know what you're thinking: every beach is a sandy beach! But not like that. After visiting the miles of white sand of this beach, you're guaranteed to have grains in every crevice. Sit back with a cool drink and wash away the pounds of sand that are somehow stuck in your esophagus. Keep an eye on the kids as these sand dunes change quickly. Relax with a beach read as the 100 km/h wind beats your face and body raw with sand until you don't know where you start and the sand ends, and you wonder why you came to the beach in the first place , because you're not a beach person, you're a city dweller and you should be sitting on the couch, turning on the air conditioning and watching crime documentaries about women murdered on the beach.
Good for: People who like to discover sand in their butt weeks after leaving the beach.
Pleasant point
Palm trees. Crystal clear water. Velvety soft sand that poses no threat. No crowds or parking costs. And the best part? You can easily reach this destination by boarding the next flight to the Caribbean.
Good for: New Yorkers with money.
